Hello everyone! Sorry my blogging’s been a bit sporadic lately, my life has kinda been that way these last few weeks as well. It’s nice to be back and I hope to be blogging more regularly soon. I thought that today I would share an… interesting experience with you all.
As you may know, I am a huge fan of football (that being the world’s version, not the American sport). While getting ready to go to the Seattle Reign game the other night— shout out to the whole team for their amazing win, and anyone who shared my good fortune in being able to watch the game— my dad took out a box of jelly beans. Nothing much significant about that, I just thought it was kind of weird that he had them.
Sadly, however, it turned out there actually was something significant about that box. It didn’t contain normal Jelly Bellies; this thing was full of pranks and malice, with a whole bucket of foulness thrown in. They were called “Bean-Boozled”. I shudder at the name, and I only had one.
Basically they are really nasty-flavored beans, thrown in with a few of the normal flavors. I know what all you Harry Potter fans are thinking: Berty Bott’s Every Flavor Beans! I’ve had those too. But these things are so much worse. With the Every Flavor Beans they have a little guide on the box so you know what you’re putting in your mouth, be it slugs or coconut.
The really mean thing about the Bean-Boozled’s is that, even though they also have the guide on the box, you don’t know what you are eating because every color has two different flavors. The sheer cruelness of that is really immeasurable. You don’t know if you are going to taste stinky socks or frutti tutti when you put the multicolored bean on your tongue.
When Dad first suggested we try them, I was going to have none of it. No thank you, I really don’t want to know what skunk spray tastes like. My dad and my sister were slightly more
stupid daring and decided to give it a go. They both had brown ones (chocolate or canned dog food?), and both quickly spit theirs in the sink while making all sorts of lovely gagging noises.
They offered me one and again I declined. But then I thought, Oh, but this would be such a great thing to post about! And anyway, they had both already gotten the dog food, so the other brown one should be safe, right? Don’t ever ask me why this logic made perfect sense. And yes, I did just admit that I do things, only VERY rarely, for the sake of this blog.
So I took the brown bean, and I put it it my mouth. I chewed it once. You know how sometimes you can taste smells? Like when you walk by mint and can taste it without actually putting it to your tongue? Well all it took was one chew for me to have the smell of canned dog food all over my tongue. I turned to the sink and spit/drooled it out as I gagged and coughed.
My first thought after eating the bean was, Oh my God this is disgusting! My second thought was something along the lines of: Even though Dad once said that if we were starving we would eat my cat’s canned food in order to survive, there is no way I would ever eat this again.
Pretty bad, huh? I did not have any more of those beans, and definitely do not plan on having any in the future. The only good thing you could do with these is prank people… just don’t tell them it was me who gave you the idea.